The past week

Dear Blogger World,
It has been awhile since I have entered your realm. There have been a lot of good things since I last updated the world wide web of strangers about my life. We had another snow day and I got to watch Hello Dolly with some good friends. It was lovely. We have been working on our children's show and are getting ready to perform it here in a few days. I went to work with a youth group and was convicted. I realized that I don't hate sin. I don't despise it like God does. I am used to it, I barely notice it, and it is sad when I shrug my shoulders at things that are an abomination to God.

I guess that is pretty much the shortened version of my week...as for today.

Today has been a wierd day. I didnt get much sleep last night. I was up late watching "cake-off" and doing homework. I accidently knocked a whole row of books off the shelf at the library, that was sad. I have been stressed about homework, due to my own lack of motivation to get things done. I thought I failed a test because I didnt study, but luckily I didn't. But all of those things are typical in the life of a college student. (Except for maybe the library book thing, but give me a break, I am clumsy:)) What really got to me today was just the sudden rush of "missing." I have been really nostalgic today and really homesick- Just not for home. I have been "whatusedtobesick." Sometimes we fall into those days. I just really missed some people of my past, many of whom are still a very big part of my present, just not in the way they used to be. Change is part of life and with that comes the longing for what once was. Not only that, but sometimes I get ahead of myself. I find myself missing things that I haven't actually lost yet. I think about the future and realize that it is only a matter of time and that depresses me. Instead of cherishing the time I have, I live in the fear and sadness that comes with the knowledge that I will eventually lose it. I pray that God will teach me to live in the moments that He gives me...because these are great moments...I don't want to miss them.

"We are reaching for the future,
We are reaching for the past,
no matter what we have we reach for more,
We are desperate to discover,
what is just beyond our grasp,
But I guess that is what heaven is for."